I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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