That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
