I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
