She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
