U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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