This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
