I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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