u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Porn is love you can see.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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