her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
