Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
