Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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