Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
