if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
