we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
