Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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