just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
