Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
