even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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