i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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