When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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