VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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