yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
