was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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