do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
