I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
