The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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