using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
