bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
