***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
