Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
