Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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