this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
