How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
