I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
tell your sister to shave her snatch
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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