What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
