remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Farmville is her only friend.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
