you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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