your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
