Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
