The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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