Plan B is the new Plan A
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Couch. On fire.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
