I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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