the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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