My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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