Don't make out with my wife yet
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
