you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
