i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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