Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
BRING THE BAGELS
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
