Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
no, he came in my armpit
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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