That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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