you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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