my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
